There are many reasons why people contact me for counselling and its different for each person. So I thought I'd write a blog to try and answer this question as there is still alot of mystery and taboo around counselling.
To process emotional pain:
Many people seek counselling because something has happened to them or to someone close to them which they find challenging and stressful and difficult to process. For example this may be a one-off event, or an accumulation of events, or a situation which has been happening for some time. They try their best to manage but their coping strategies are not helping anymore and maybe contributing to the problem. They don't have anyone in their personal network they can talk to, not to the extent that they really need. They can no longer bottle things up because the problem has got so bad that it's causing more pain than we can cope with. Many of us try to bare the pain for too long on our own and sometimes things have to get very bad before we will make a decision to see a counsellor. Some examples are:
- Grieving a loved one.
- Divorce or separation.
- Sudden illness or injury which affects us physically and/or mentally.
- Family or work conflict.
- Relationship breakdown.
- Losing a job/ money problems.
- Dealing with addiction.
For general mental health maintenance:
Some people are very health aware. They choose to have regular weekly/ fortnightly counselling because they recognise that talking to a Counsellor helps them to keep their mental health in good shape. Just like regularly going to the gym, yoga/ pilates classes, seeing a chiropractor or having a massage keeps their physical health in good shape.
To gain greater self awareness, identity exploration, and self development:
Other people come for counselling because their personal circumstances have changed, and they realise they are dissatisfied with how they are living their life. They may start to ask themselves questions they have not asked before and want to spend time looking inwards in order to know themselves better. They want to work out why they think how they think, or do what they do. They may want to change something about themself which is holding them back from being the person they were meant to be. Some areas of self exploration are:
- Neurodiversity.
- Sexuality.
- Gender identity.
- Career and lifestyle choices.
- Life script*
*Life Scripts are the beliefs, morals and principles we hold and stories we tell ourselves which give us a template and set of rules to help us live our lives. However, our life script patterns can restrict the choices we make and hold us back from living a full and colourful life. Life Script is a fascinating Transactional Analysis (TA) concept which I studied while training to be a Counsellor. I will write more on this topic in my next blog.
If any of this resonates with you then you are welcome to get in touch with me to arrange a free 15 minute discovery call to ask any questions and arrange an initial 50 minute discounted session.